I was in church when I heard that Chidubem called me his wife(abomination).I couldn't believe my ears. Our church, St Marks Anglican Church Yaba, had the children's church, teenage church and the adult church. Let's say I was a primary 4 or 5 child, it's been years you know. So you should guess the church I was in. Okay, back to my gist.
Chidubem wasn't someone I ever really liked, to me he was ugly and black, some of my friends always teased him that God made the mixture to give the black man his complexion and tested it first by dripping Chidubem in it. We(Chidubem and I) were always present in every church program. I guess as children, we couldn't say No to our parents especially when it had to do with going to church (you will not want to be unfortunate).
It's funny how this particular news got to me in the middle of service, how on Earth would this guy not focus on God and why he came to church, mtcheew, mumu.
You see when a guy calls you "his wife", it's natural to smile and feel like a fine girl with wife potentials but this wasn't the case with me. I became more furious when the service was over and he came close whispering "my wife" to my hearing.
See, I was a tiny girl who had a very sharp mouth, the maids who lived with me always said my mouth would put me into trouble one day. Well to me, I was simply practicing my "freedom of speech".
Immediately, I told Chidubem that in his life, he should never talk to me and trust me, I meant it. That was the beginning of my one year malice (can you imagine that?)For every attempt he made to come close, I personally frustrated it. I made sure I had no reason to talk to him and vise versa. Trust me my pride was useless and increased the more. His words weren't a big deal to him or anyone who heard why I decided to keep this particular malice but as for me, I felt I was being treated cheap, well maybe cause my size and low self-esteem contributed to it. Sincerely I was mean and my heart stony, I didn't even think about when death comes where would I end( I was taught about Heaven and Hell, so I understood little of what I heard in church)
When I remember the situation now, it makes me laugh and pity my loss of joy and stupidity at that small age. It was not until there was an alter call made in the general church that my head decided to reboot(the preacher mentioned that those who keep malice would go to hell,this one hit me)
Unforgiveness, malice, anger, pinned me down, imprisoned me from receiving whatever good I was to get. I decided to apologise to Chinedum after the service, sincerely my pride had been flushed away and did I become free? Yes of course. I realized what made me keep malice for one year was useless, you see malice is not a good thing and does not contribute to the society.
Two months later.
My family decided to move to another town within Lagos. My mum started a new business and Yaba was far from where she worked, this was the beginning of our great movement😢. I cried and cried. I hated the fact that I would miss friends, most especially wish I had more time to be close to Chidubem (don't get my wrong, I wasn't crushing on him o, just that we were becoming close 🤫) What to do kwan🤧, I had to learn that life continues and doesn't always play the way we want it. The most important thing was that I made peace with everyone before leaving, that alone would leave a long lasting imprint in their lives.
I write this now because I have come to an understanding that while trying to get back to our offender as a result of offense committed to us, we hurt ourselves and imprison our mind, happiness and freedom.
💜💜🧡💛💓💗💓💙💝💟💔💝💘💖💌💕💛🧡💙
Have a lovely weekend
Stay Safe.
Yours sincerely,
Tamar🔥
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Nice one Tamar
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